Tattoo's and Me

One thing I have always wanted to do but never had the cajones to do was to get a tattoo. It's not that I'm especially scared of the pain (however, that's definately a factor, haha) it's more the problem of looking back in 10 years and asking myself, "What the hell was I thinking?".

Well today I went into our local tattoo spot and picked out a Stone Angel (baby looking) with a cross, underneath I will have the names of my two little girls in a rock type font. I'll take a picture of it and post it after it's done. I'm a bit nervous about it, but to be honest, I've wanted one for a very long time and this is a good time to do it.

I went for blood tests today, and an ecg. I think there will be more tests soon, we'll see. As for now, I still have a pain in my left arm, and I find it very uncomfortable to lay on my left side. So I'm pretty confident something is up. My doctor believes that it is all anxiety related, but I have a nagging suspicion it's more serious than that. He's the expert though.

Also, on another note, I've decided that I'm going to trade in my 2001 Ford Tauras SE, for a 2006 Ford Mustang GT V8. It's black with a burgandy interior, detailed, and two front air intakes. The payments will be roughly what I'm paying for my Tauras now, so that makes it an even sweeter deal. I've always owned family orientated sedans and this time I'm getting something for myself. I love Mustangs, and I love the look of the new ones. So, I'm off to the bank tommorrow to try and get the financing all arranged. Hopefully, by the end of the week, I'll be ripping up the highways in my new Mustang...and yes...I'll be nekked...err...nevermind that part.

-Sethalos

Tunage Extremicus

"...and if you leave me...Furious Angels shall bring you back to me." Rob Dougan.

For all of you out there that are like me and love to listen to new music I've found some pretty darn good tunes to listen to.

Furious Angels - Rob Dougan
Black Brick Road - Lake of Tears (EXCELLENT)
Stone the Crow - Down
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessionals
Slow Chemical - Finger Eleven
Nothing at All - Rob Dougan
Furnace Room Lullabye - Neko Case and her Boyfriends
Time for People - Atomship
Put your lights on - Everlast Santana
Ordinary - Train
Release - Anathema

These are just a few of the tunes that I'm listening to at the moment, give them a try, you will like I'm sure.

My saturday plans kind of went up in smoke when the folks decided to take off for the evening, lol. So no babsitter. I've been going through my 100+ gigs of music and put together a few good cd's. I'm one of those people that has to have music no matter what they are doing.

If you're one of those, toss some songs my way, let me know the Artist, the Song Title, and possibly the album.

-Sethalos

Let the Relaxation Begin

Well, it's done. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and he wrote me about a note giving me an inedefinate amount of time off from the job for medical reasons. He's a bit upset at me that it took this long for me to do, actually. He thinks that I may have permanently damaged myself.

Of course, work is extremely pissed off that I am taking stress leave (for medical reasons) and I'm sure they are looking for every possible way to let me go now. I used to love that job, teaching the students, learning new things, and the camaraderie that went along with working with a single bunch of people for 3 years. We have alot of laughs during that time. But, things change, the company went through a takeover by SkillSoft (Previously SmartForce), our management was so concerned about the bottom line (financial) that they forgot to take into account the employee. We use very out of date equipment (replaced by equipment that was equally bad, only newer), 15" CRT Monitors that the dinosaurs generally used (very hard on the eyes), a pention for never giving praise but quickly firing off emails if something was wrong, no management interaction, untrained management, and the list goes on. The workplace went from an enjoyable place to be, to a place you dread going to every morning, wondering what email would be in your inbox telling you that you fucked up some how.

Not to mention all of those, but the writing of certification exams every 6 weeks. I mean, people take college courses to learn this stuff and it takes them a year usually for one or two certifications, we do these every 6 weeks. Do you think we have adequate resources, hell no, they buy us a book, and tell us we can only study at home...not at work. The company won't pay for technology lectures that come around to help keep us in the know, either. There are so many things about this company that I hate now, that I can't even possibly get into it all. Suffice as to say, that I will be looking for something else immediately. Hopefully, I'll find something of interest. Until then, i'm taking time off to relax and get my health back up.

I still have alot of tests that I have to go through to be sure that my heart and arteries are ok. I'm on a diet now (forced this time), hehe. So at least that's a good thing.

I haven't had a chance to talk to my special lady friend now for about 4 days, no answers to me emails either, so I'm beginning to think that maybe this was all one sided. I'll keep up hope though and maybe it can work. We're only about 2 hours away from each other, so it can't be all the distance.

Well, there is where i'm at today.

-Sethalos

Cars and the Companies that Build Them

I was reading about the recent GM employee buyouts and early retirement offerings with a bit of skepticism. Not from a corporate or economic view but from an overall perspective of business in the US.

Much of the innovation that is ongoing for automotive makers is coming from Europe of Asia. Most of the automobiles that are being purchased are not the big SUV gas guzzling beasts that are the North American standard money winner. With the cost of fuel on the rise, and no hint of it slowing in the near future, it's time for American companies to wake up and smell the coffee. We are in a global oil crisis, and it's only going to get worse. The type of automobiles that are created must reflect this.

My question is where are all the true hybrids? Where is all of the innovation for new types of fuels? Why aren't these automobiles flying out of the dealerships?

One big reason is that they aren't worth it yet. They aren't true hybrids for the most part (some exceptions apply), and they still require gas.

I would love to see new fuel options available (cooking oil anyone?) . I'd love to see some new modern vehicles (ones that are truly awe inspiring) come down in price. A good example of what I'm talking about is the new Pontiac Solstice which I can see would be a HUGE success if they can manage to keep the price down.

I currently own a 2001 Ford Tauras SE 6cylinder family car. Let me tell you, this sucker is HELL on fuel. I have owned Ford vehicles for the last 3 cars that I've had. This will be my last one. I am strongly considering picking up a new hybrid Toyota or even a Honda. I'm in the market now for a car, and will soon start researching vehicles in my price range. I'm a bit skeptical to be honest about my choices.

Many people are losing their jobs in North America due to outsourcing and such, but many others are losing their jobs to the fact that some companies just are not on the ball as to what their customers want. When they finally do luck into something that is a hit, they over price it to the point that many who had considered it won't purchase it anymore, and go on to a less expensive alternative, that actually is quite comparitive in all departments.

I feel so bad for people losing their jobs for reasons such as this. It's terrible.

-Sethalos.

Sleep...or lack thereof

How many times have you been lying in bed, tossing and turning, staring at the clock saying, "Three more hours before I have to get up, ok...going to close my eyes and sleep now." then "two more hours...need sleep."..."One more"...."SHIT!!".

Sleep disorders are quite common and they can be solved by something as simple as buying a new pillow or a mattress. Or...you need serious drugs, therapy, and meditation.

I'm one of those folks that it takes a very long time for me to get relaxed enough to fall asleep. I toss and I turn, and I toss and I turn until finally at some juncture of which I'm oblivious...I fall asleep. However, if there is the slightest little noise, or nuisance I'll wake up, and it will take another hour or so for me to get back to sleep.

Well, this goes hand in hand with my previous blog about Stress and anxiety, because sleep deprivation is part of the big three. Stress, Anxiety, Lack of Sleep. The problem with the lack of sleep is that it is culmulative, so if you get 5 hours on mon, 6 hours on tues, 4 on on wed...come thursday you're working on no sleep. No sleep, leads to stress, which leads to anxiety, which leads to death or worse.

It's funny because I brought this subject up with some friends, and not a single one of them sleeps well. Not one! That's pretty scary.

I've even gone so far as to pick up sleeping pills and use them when I absolutely must rest and cant' seem to. But, they are addictive, and the more you use them, the less they work. The next best thing....NYQUIL...hell yeah that stuff is a godsend. But again, addictive.

A girl I'm very fond of at the moment gave me a tip....meditation. Relaxation techniques. So, I'm about to go all samurai on everyone's ass, and actually give it a shot. I keep picturing monks and their chanting while sitting cross-legged in a temple. Well at least I have the bald head to fit in.

Too many times I've woken up from a sleep only to find myself as or more tired than when I first lay down. Too many times, I've watched the mintues tick away trying to get that few hours of desperate rest. Too many times, have I woken from a sleep only to find I've only slept for an hour and then can't get back to sleep.

Not sure if there are any answers for this yet, going to bring it up to my doc when I see him on Thursday, but I have to say, this is just way to common, and what is this really saying about the method in which people live their lives.

Sethalos

The Heart vs Work

I went to see the doctor this morning about some pains I've been having in my chest and left arm. I immediately chalked it up to something to do with my heart obviously and it scared the shit out of me.

However, apparently my heart is fine, i'm in good shape (although I need to drop some weight), and my blood pressure is good. The problem: Stress.

Apparently, stress is rapidly becoming one of the most common reasons that people have heart problems, high blood pressure, migrains, etc. The hours I work, the job situation, family problems, single parenthood, and many other contributing factors have finally pushed my Stress threshold to the limit where my body is giving me a very clear warning. Stop it or die.

I've decided that I'm going to look into another position with another company. Something with daytime hours, and not as much corporate crap. There will always be stress I think in any job, but I can at the very least minimize it as much as possible. My doctor is going to see me again on Thursday, and on his recommendation he is giving me a letter to allow me to leave my job for stress related reasons. He's actually broached this with me last November when I went to see him about pains in my chest, and he's happy to do it now.

The issue for me is leaving a position because of stress. I feel kind of wimpy to be honest. Real men don't leave there jobs because of stress do they? I mean, shit, if I lost an arm maybe...lol...but stress. I'm trying to justify it all and I'm really having a hard time with it. It means that I'll have to go on Unemployment for a bit until I secure another position (which I could do immediately if need be), but I may just take a month or two to catch up and get healthy. Get some sleep finally and relax.

Doohead had a great blog about something similiar (check it out if you haven't read it, link to the right of my blog) and I responded then, before this happened this morning, and it really just enforces my belief now.

You can't really put much stock in statistics but here is a very good read about stress and what it can do to you if not taken seriously: Great Work Related Stress read .

After my little bout with chest pains this morning...I'm taking this shit seriously now.

If you feel or have felt this type of stress, you've had chest pains, depression, anxiety, or get sick often. GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR!!!.

Seth the Stressed.

It Comes In Threes

Well, they say that bad luck comes in threes, and I'm on number two already.

I was supposed to go to Boston to write an exam this morning, a pretty big deal at work. Well when I got to the airport they wouldn't allow me to board the plane because my birth certificate didn't match the name on the ticket...let me explain.

When I was 7 my Mother remarried, and along the way we took on my step-fathers name. It never really occurred to me that it was an issue because I seldom use my birth certicate and I've yet to have any problems. However, on the one day that I actually need it, they turned me down.

So not only did I miss my flight (which cost the company 1300 bucks), I missed the exam (which cost 496USD), my only excuse is that they wouldn't allow me to board because of the above explained reason. So, pretty much next week I'll most likely be looking for a new job.

Then later today, I got a killer deal on a new treadmill, $1000 dollar treadmill for $20 bucks. I paid the lady, and ran my buddy back to where his truck was to pick it up, when we got back some guy in a minivan is taking my treadmill. So I yell, "Hey there buddy, I've already paid for that."

Apparently, the lady double sold the treadmill, and this guy had the minivan there. She apologized profusely, but I'm still out a killer deal. Needless to say I was a bit miffed at it.

Now, I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall. I'm pretty sure it'll be my job loss, which wouldn't be altogether that bad for me. I've been wanting out of that job for awhile now. I already have other positions opened up, and you know what, I don't think I'd mind going on unemployment for a few months. I really could use the break.

One good thing that has happened lately is I have met a like minded lady. The problem. She lives about 2 hours away which makes dating difficult. She's a sweety though, and I really really like her. I'm doing my best to try and arrange times to meet up but it's a pain in the ass. Especially, those times you could really use someone to be with both emotionally, physically and err..cuddly. I'd really like to see this work out though, so I'll make every effort.

The girls are doing great, but lately they have been fighting like cats and err..more cats. I'm honestly considering picking up boxing gloves and letting them go at it until they are tuckered out, lol. Either that or find a tranquilizer gun.

Well this is going to be my new blogging home for awhile, so hopefully I will see some of my ole blogging friends around. I will be making more of an effort to keep track of their lives and mayhem. Never know, I may have plenty of spare time shortly. hehe.

So if you see this, send me a heya.

Take care all,

Sethalos

The Move Back

Well, I have come to the rapid conclusion that MSN Spaces sucks, so I'm going to be coming back here. I guess I will just have to try and figure out how to do all of the things I'd like my Blog to show.

Move will commence immediately.

Seth.