Winter needed a bath, badly. So I decided the best course of action, seeing that it has been rainy and yucky outside, was to bath her in the tub. Now the tub isn't all that small and has those jacuzzi spouts in it that sprays water out in nice comforting jets. So my wild idea was to fill the bathtub up about halfway, turn on the shower and the jacuzzi to get her drenched down enough to shampoo her.
You see, in my little reality (here after known as Seth's world), everything works as I imagine it and in my imagination this whole thing went flawlessly and quick.
Now, the one thing about Winter is that she is EXTREMELY timid (of course in Seth's Word this was not a consideration I had taken into account) and doesn't like loud noises or any type of suprise (keep this in mind for later in the story).
So, I try and coax my puppy (who is about 70 pounds and about 64cm's tall. into the bathtub...she wasn't going for it. So I picked her up and placed her in the tub. Next, I started the water, nicly warm letting it rise up to about her belly (this was mistake #1). I used a measuring cup to pour the water onto her back and head, and then using the genius given to me at birth, I hit the Jacuzzi button and jets of warm water shot out of the tub impacting my now very startled dog (mistake # 2). My normally passive animal get's into a doggy karate stance (on two legs and tries to deke me out and jump out of the tub. Well, hell, I played hockey, there is no way in hell this is going to work....WRONG!! She out deked me and jumped out of the tub, water pouring off her all over the floor, she shakes and now there is water all over the ceiling and walls (dirty water I may add) and she is now in, "Don't touch me mode".
As quick thinking as I am I dive and slam the bathroom door shut heading off an even worse catastrophe. Winter knowing now that she is cornered decides to use some of her Dog-foo on me again and rushes me. I slip and fall and smack my arm on the tub (HARD). Winter is now clawing at the door in desperation, but I recover quickly and grab her and lift her back up into the tub. I quickly turn off the jacuzzi and she seems to settle down a bit.
Then deciding that I needed more water, I turn the shower on, water sprays down and nails my puppy in the face. Puppy freaks out again, but this time knowing i'm ready for some more dog-foo or dekeing out jumps straight into my arms and knocks me back on my ass, then i slowly tip over onto my back. I now have a very very wet 70 pound scared and moderately pissed off animal on my chest shaking more water on the ceiling and the walls.
So I push the animal off me, turn the shower off, and being the stubborn trooper I am, pick up the puppy and threw her back in the water. She sits there staring daggers into my soul as I apply the shampoo and wash her fur. (Mistake #3). You see, now I have a timid, scared, pissed off, SLIPPERY dog on my hands and obviously not considering this I grab her coller and once again turn on the shower to wash the soap off. (Mistake #4).
I'm not sure what happened after that...I vaguely remember something smashing into my chest and then a blinding light. I hear voices in the distance and stinging in my eyes. I'm sure somewhere's theirs an angel ready to take me away to a far happier land..but the beotch didn't appear to help me calm down a very freaked out animal that has shampoo dripping from every hair.
Now, if any of you have ever tried to grab a slippery animal in a tiled bathroom that has a half a foot of warm bath water in it. You will agree that it is a tad difficult. So I grabbed a towel, managed to get it around the dog and lifted her up to put her back in the tub to rinse her off...not grasping the fact that the tiled floor is now very slippery with shampoo and bath water.
Again....not sure at what point I did the double back flip half gainer onto the tiled floor but I came to my senses laying on my belly, face plush to a shampooy tiled floor and a 70 pound black lab sitting on my back with absolutely no intentions of getting off of me.
At this point, I did all that a man could do in my circumstances. I grabbed a leash, and led the dog down stairs, outside and into the rain to let it do the dirty work. Not considering the fact that my semi clean animal would roll around in the mud and run through the bushes. I admitted defeat, poured myself a stiff rum and coke and trekked towards the bathroom for the hour an a half it will take to clean it up.
All of this to save myself the gargantuan fee of $30 dollars to have her washed professionally.
Winter 1 Master 0
I shall have my revenge!!!
Seth.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
The Move to MSN Spaces
Well, I recently made a few changes. I deleted most of my blogs from Blogger and moved them to MSN Spaces.
My reasons were that I could display more pictures, and make it a bit more homey. I'm not really happy with MSN Spaces either because I don't have the options to customize the page very much, but for now it'll do.
If you want to visit it you can at http://spaces.msn.com/sethalos
I will be updating this blog with my blogs from there for a bit longer, and then deleting them all from here to be exclusively there.
I will most likely move from Spaces as well once I find a more customizable site.
Take care all...sorry about the deletion of previous posts, you will find them (sans comments) at the spaces site.
-Seth
My reasons were that I could display more pictures, and make it a bit more homey. I'm not really happy with MSN Spaces either because I don't have the options to customize the page very much, but for now it'll do.
If you want to visit it you can at http://spaces.msn.com/sethalos
I will be updating this blog with my blogs from there for a bit longer, and then deleting them all from here to be exclusively there.
I will most likely move from Spaces as well once I find a more customizable site.
Take care all...sorry about the deletion of previous posts, you will find them (sans comments) at the spaces site.
-Seth
Liberal View
I'm a liberal. Yep...that evil word in the present state of affairs. I have an open mind, and believe in the rights of others.
A good example of where I stand on certain issues.
I am:
Pro Gay Marriage
Pro Choice
Pro De-criminilization of Hash and Marijuana
Pro Sheep Molestation...err...nevermind that one.
Pro Religious beliefs
Pro Free Speech
I am one of those people that can't even fathom how conservatives can even justify the word convervative.
con·ser·va·tive
adj.
1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
The world is a constantly changing tapestry of views, religious beliefs, technologies, politics, and lives. How can one who is conservative face or deal with a world that is constantly in flux and changing daily with the view that they oppose change.
Change is good it breeds evolution in not only ideals, ideas, and morals. It promotes a dynamic society, not a static society.
Now don't get me wrong not all change is good, there are things that should remain constant, fitting into the category of "Don't fix it if it isn't broke." But you can always improve upon things.
I look at the governing party of Canada and the United States now, and I truly fear for us. I won't even get into the reasons concerning the United States but if you are one of those that don't involve yourselves in the Political situations, here are a few links for you to take a peek at:
http://tinyurl.com/2dcgj
http://tinyurl.com/4x9ld
http://tinyurl.com/bk45v
As for Canada, my main fear isn't in regards of world domination, but us falling back into a deep debt. I work hard and pay high taxes so that hopefully my children will not have the same burden that my generation does. It was the Brian Mulroney government that really put us all in the hurt locker, and from that stemmed the GST, and high Income Tax.
I fear that his strong empathy for the US administration will place Canada in a position where we are expected to participate in the upcoming war of IRAN. Oh yes, boys and girls...it is coming, and it is inevitable. You see both Iraq and Iran want to do away with oil being paid for only by US dollars, they prefer the Euro...and the US just cannot have that. Regardless of this, I don't want to see Canada involved in that type of thing. I don't want to see our Men and Women killed because of the US outlook on the rest of the world. I don't trust Harper, I never have since his Alliance days. Too many Canadians have forgot some of the things he has said during his political career.
The next year will be very interesting to see what type of changes are brought forth, and what the reaction of the Canadian population will be. We are a very passive people, we don't tend to take as passionate a stand on issues as our neighbours to the south, and I'm afraid that passivity will allow this government to pass some ultra conservative bills.
Let's hope this doesn't happen for all of our sakes.
What we need is a Common Sense Minister, one who can look beyond the veil of partisanship and political nonsense and say, "you know what, that makes no sense at all" and quash it with extreme prejudice.
Here are a few quotes from Harper:
"In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."
- Conservative leader Stephen Harper, then vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, in a June 1997 Montreal meeting of the Council for National Policy, a right-wing American think tank.
"Canada is a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the term, and very proud of it. Canadians make no connection between the fact that they are a Northern European welfare state and the fact that we have very low economic growth, a standard of living substantially lower than yours, a massive brain drain of young professionals to your country, and double the unemployment rate of the United States."
- Conservative leader Stephen Harper, then vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, in a June 1997 Montreal meeting of the Council for National Policy, a right-wing American think tank.
"Now 'pay equity' has everything to do with pay and nothing to do with equity. It’s based on the vague notion of 'equal pay for work of equal value,' which is not the same as equal pay for the same job."
- Stephen Harper, NCC Overview, Fall 1998.
"I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans."
- Stephen Harper, Report Newsmagazine, March 25th 2002. As it turned out, Harper wasn't the only one who didn't know all the facts.
- Seth
A good example of where I stand on certain issues.
I am:
Pro Gay Marriage
Pro Choice
Pro De-criminilization of Hash and Marijuana
Pro Sheep Molestation...err...nevermind that one.
Pro Religious beliefs
Pro Free Speech
I am one of those people that can't even fathom how conservatives can even justify the word convervative.
con·ser·va·tive
adj.
1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
The world is a constantly changing tapestry of views, religious beliefs, technologies, politics, and lives. How can one who is conservative face or deal with a world that is constantly in flux and changing daily with the view that they oppose change.
Change is good it breeds evolution in not only ideals, ideas, and morals. It promotes a dynamic society, not a static society.
Now don't get me wrong not all change is good, there are things that should remain constant, fitting into the category of "Don't fix it if it isn't broke." But you can always improve upon things.
I look at the governing party of Canada and the United States now, and I truly fear for us. I won't even get into the reasons concerning the United States but if you are one of those that don't involve yourselves in the Political situations, here are a few links for you to take a peek at:
http://tinyurl.com/2dcgj
http://tinyurl.com/4x9ld
http://tinyurl.com/bk45v
As for Canada, my main fear isn't in regards of world domination, but us falling back into a deep debt. I work hard and pay high taxes so that hopefully my children will not have the same burden that my generation does. It was the Brian Mulroney government that really put us all in the hurt locker, and from that stemmed the GST, and high Income Tax.
I fear that his strong empathy for the US administration will place Canada in a position where we are expected to participate in the upcoming war of IRAN. Oh yes, boys and girls...it is coming, and it is inevitable. You see both Iraq and Iran want to do away with oil being paid for only by US dollars, they prefer the Euro...and the US just cannot have that. Regardless of this, I don't want to see Canada involved in that type of thing. I don't want to see our Men and Women killed because of the US outlook on the rest of the world. I don't trust Harper, I never have since his Alliance days. Too many Canadians have forgot some of the things he has said during his political career.
The next year will be very interesting to see what type of changes are brought forth, and what the reaction of the Canadian population will be. We are a very passive people, we don't tend to take as passionate a stand on issues as our neighbours to the south, and I'm afraid that passivity will allow this government to pass some ultra conservative bills.
Let's hope this doesn't happen for all of our sakes.
What we need is a Common Sense Minister, one who can look beyond the veil of partisanship and political nonsense and say, "you know what, that makes no sense at all" and quash it with extreme prejudice.
Here are a few quotes from Harper:
"In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."
- Conservative leader Stephen Harper, then vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, in a June 1997 Montreal meeting of the Council for National Policy, a right-wing American think tank.
"Canada is a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the term, and very proud of it. Canadians make no connection between the fact that they are a Northern European welfare state and the fact that we have very low economic growth, a standard of living substantially lower than yours, a massive brain drain of young professionals to your country, and double the unemployment rate of the United States."
- Conservative leader Stephen Harper, then vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, in a June 1997 Montreal meeting of the Council for National Policy, a right-wing American think tank.
"Now 'pay equity' has everything to do with pay and nothing to do with equity. It’s based on the vague notion of 'equal pay for work of equal value,' which is not the same as equal pay for the same job."
- Stephen Harper, NCC Overview, Fall 1998.
"I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans."
- Stephen Harper, Report Newsmagazine, March 25th 2002. As it turned out, Harper wasn't the only one who didn't know all the facts.
- Seth
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