Lately I've noticed that my eldest daughter Jecynda has been much more argumentative with me in respect to bed times, doing homework, play time, and items.
I thought maybe at first that maybe she was angry about something and this was her way to deal with it. So earlier today I decided that the two of us would have a talk. I drove us down to the mall and we did some shopping, we sat at A&W and had a bite to eat, and then we stopped off for an ice cream and sat down. I decided to talk with her then about what was going on and what she thought we could do to solve the problem.
It was then I found out, that I was the problem. She didn't like my rules and thought that she was old enough now for some of them to be changed. Her list of demands were:
1) Go to sleep at 10pm rather than 9pm
2) Do homework when she feels like doing it and not at 7pm
3) She wants her room changed to more reflect herself
4) Be allowed to stay out past 9pm with friends
5) Allowed to go to the mall in the afternoon with her friends
Most of these demands were things that I would be a bit more flexible with had she not been giving me some attitude when she told me about them.
This is where the Battle of the Wills began. I was getting pissy at her attitude and she was getting frustrated with my getting pissy with her attitude.
So, I took a deep breath and made the following compromises with her.
1) Weeknights she can go to bed at 10pm as long as I have no trouble getting her up in the morning.
2) Homework gets done before bedtime, she has the freedom to choose when.
3) I gave her a week to come up with a list of changes for her room, and then we would discuss that.
4) 9pm is the latest she is allowed out at, there is no compromise here.
5) She can go with her friends to the Mall on the condition she is back at school on time, her homework is done, she doesn't do anything stupid like stealing, or anything else peer pressured teens tend to do in those situation.
We agreed on these things, and we'll see how it goes.
Of course after we arrived home and she started to play, I thought to myself: "My little girl is growing up way to fast." And that's when I needed some Daddy sad time, and retired to my room to reflect on how fast the time is flying by.
- Rob
2 comments:
i think you handled it great. its tough when they hit the teen years. mine aren't old enough yet. but i rememer what it was to be one...lol...stay strong. i know i get sad when they start showing signs of growing up. im hear to lend an ear.
and it wasn't a surrender it was a compromise. atleast you care enough to find out
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